Blackbird Health | Virtual and In-Person Therapy for Children, Teens, and Young Adults

“Parents, you are the experts on your child. Some kids need every minute structured in order to thrive, others don’t. They need to just be allowed to get a bit bored.”

Building daily routines that work while you’re at work
Many parents feel overwhelmed thinking they need to entertain their children all day. This is especially true during summer when regular school routines disappear.

The reality is different. Children thrive when they have clear structure and the freedom to manage their own time within safe boundaries. This approach works whether you're working from home with children present, your kids are with another caregiver, or you're managing summer days together. Your goal isn't constant entertainment. It's creating conditions where your child feels confident making good choices throughout the day.  

Example: Cooking only when mom and dad are home to supervise. No stove, no ove, no microwave when home alone.

Collaborative planning approaches that work for real families
When children participate in the creation of their schedule, they feel ownership. This reduces arguments and builds independence. This includes consequences: what do the kids think is fair if they break or don’t follow the rules? I find, kids are often more strict than their own parents.

Simple approaches that make a difference:

• Set up "check-in times" when you connect briefly during the day

• Prepare snacks and activities ahead of time

• Give choices within structure: "Your morning activity can be reading, drawing, or building with blocks"

• Create visual schedules and choice boards your child can follow alone
  

How to create simple visual schedules and choice boards
Visual schedules and choice boards work for kids of all ages and are great ways to take the ideas you collaborated on and make them feel “official.” These tools don’t have to be a big craft project. Many families find success with simple drawings or written lists posted where children can see them.

Try this: Use moveable pieces—whether magnetic boards, sticky notes, or digital apps—that allow your child to arrange activities in order for the day and even check off completed activities.

Teaching children to self-direct
For parents who work from home, teaching children to self-direct can be very helpful. Many children can manage parts of their day independently when given the right support. The key is understanding your individual child's abilities and providing appropriate preparation and clear expectations. Remember: Your child doesn't need you to orchestrate every moment. They need structure that helps them make good choices and feel successful on their own.

What this looks like in practice:

• Morning checklists they can complete without reminders

• Activity bins that rotate to maintain interest

• Clear guidelines about when it's okay to interrupt your work

• Simple meal and snack options they can access safely

“The goal isn’t controlling every moment but creating conditions where positive choices feel natural and your child feels empowered in their daily experience.”

Summer activities to nurture your child’s strengths
If your child is spending most of the summer at home or you’re looking for meaningful activities during downtime between programs, summer offers unique opportunities to nurture their individual strengths. Rather than viewing summer as a time to "fix" challenges, we can celebrate and cultivate each child's natural strengths.

Follow their passions
Many neurodivergent children have intense interests that rarely get full exploration during the busy school year. Summer offers the gift of time to dive deep into these passions, reinforcing that learning is joyful and personally meaningful.

Supporting deep interest exploration:

• Library adventures to research everything about dinosaurs, space, or mythology, etc.

• Hands-on science experiments that satisfy their need for sensory exploration

• Art projects that allow for full creative expression without time constraints

• Nature-based learning that combines movement with discovery

“So many of our neurodivergent kids have that one topic that they’re so interested in, but never get to explore in school because they must move to the next unit. Use the summer to allow them to go deep.”

Honoring individual energy patterns
Every child has natural rhythms for focus, creativity, and rest. Some are morning learners, others afternoon explorers. Some need quiet contemplation, others thrive with gentle background stimulation. Remember to inhale and exhale: Inhales are active and engaging activities, while exhales are quieter and restorative ones.

Blackbird pro tip: Track your child’s energy patterns for a week, noting when they’re most alert and when they need breaks. Build “energy maps” together: “You’re a morning owl for focused activities, afternoon eagle for adventure, evening turtle for winding down.”

Integrate daily movement
For neurodivergent children, movement isn't just exercise—it's neurological support that enhances learning, emotional regulation, and overall well-being. The key is weaving joyful movement throughout the day rather than treating it as a separate requirement.

Some fun options: Wobble cushions during reading time, walking conversations about their interests, sandbox play for deep pressure input, or standing workstations for activities that require focus.

Embracing “scheduled boredom”
One of summer's greatest gifts is something many parents try desperately to avoid: boredom. For neurodivergent children especially, learning to navigate unstimulated time is a crucial life skill that builds creativity, independence, and emotional resilience.

Many neurodivergent children have learned to rely on external stimulation to regulate their nervous systems. While this isn't inherently problematic, building tolerance for quiet, unstimulated moments helps them develop internal coping strategies and discover interests they might not otherwise explore.

What “scheduled boredom” looks like:

• Set aside 30-60 minutes daily when no activities, screens, or entertainment are provided

• Create a "boredom survival kit": art supplies, building materials, books, or simple puzzles they can access independently

• Resist the urge to suggest activities when they complain

• Stay nearby but don't engage unless safety is a concern

“When children aren’t constantly entertained or directed, they’re forced to look inward, use their imagination, and develop the confidence that comes from figuring things out on their own.”

Managing the inevitable complaints
Let's be honest—your child will never thank you for allowing them to be bored. The immediate reward for this brave parenting choice is whining, complaints, and possibly some dramatic declarations about how terrible life is.

Adjust to boredom gradually if necessary for your family:

• Start with shorter periods (10-15 minutes) and gradually increase

• Some children may need a calm-down period before they can access creativity

• Big emotions during boredom are normal—this is their nervous system learning to self-regulate

• Consider offering two "safe" options: "You can be bored in your room or bored in the living room."

When you reframe summer whining as evidence that you're building your child's resilience and creativity, it becomes not enjoyable, but tolerable. And you might just witness the breakthrough moment when boredom transforms into genuine engagement with their own inner world.

Navigating summer camps and camp transitions
Summer camps provide wonderful structure and social opportunities. For neurodivergent children, a little preparation goes a long way toward ensuring positive experiences.

Ways to help them feel ready:

• If your child tends to worry about new places, a quick visit beforehand can help them feel more comfortable

• Talk with your child about what camp will be like, focusing on any parts that might feel different from their usual activities

• Discuss situations that might feel tricky for your specific child: "What if you need help but don't know which counselor to ask?" or "What if the schedule changes because of weather?"

• Create a simple schedule if your child does better knowing what to expect throughout the day
  

Advocating effectively with camp staff
Most counselors genuinely want every child to have a great experience. They simply need to understand what helps your child succeed.

Share information that matters:

• What your child loves and does well (this helps staff connect with them)

• Situations that might be challenging

• Strategies that work when your child feels overwhelmed

• How they prefer to receive help or comfort

What to include in your camp communication
Start positive. Share something your child is excited about and one strength they bring to the group. Keep it brief and invite questions.

Give specific helpful information:

• One or two situations that can be challenging for your child

• What works when those situations come up

• How your child prefers to receive help or comfort

Sample framework:

"Hi! [Child's name] is looking forward to [specific camp activity]. They're great at [strength/positive trait]. A couple of things that help them succeed: [specific strategy 1] and [specific strategy 2].

Feel free to call with any questions!"

Supporting daily camp transitions
The shift between camp energy and home routines can be challenging for neurodivergent children. After hours of social interaction and stimulation, many children need intentional support to transition back to home life.

Simple transition supports:

• Plan for a brief "decompression window" when your child first comes home—quiet time, a snack, or simply sitting together

• Keep pickup and dropoff routines consistent

• Expect some big emotions after camp and plan for them with easy dinner options and lowered expectations

Many children hold it together beautifully at camp, then release big feelings once they're home. This isn't defiance—it's their nervous system processing a stimulating day. Plan for decompression time and expect some challenging moments. Remember to protect core home routines (bedtime, wake-up) even when camp schedules shift.

Managing common summer challenges with compassion
Understanding your child's unique needs helps transform potential stress points into opportunities for growth and connection.

Sleep: The foundation of summer well-being
Quality sleep remains crucial during summer's longer days and shifted schedules. The goal is gentle consistency that supports your child's natural rhythms while accommodating seasonal changes. The American Academy of Sleep Medicine recommends 9-12 hours for elementary-aged children and 8-10 hours for teens, with gentle flexibility on weekends.

Practical sleep support for summer

• If you’re changing bedtime/wakeup time—adjust sleep gradually—shifting schedules by 15-30 minutes every few days

• Consistent wind-down rituals with decreasing stimulation

• Room optimization: blackout curtains, cool temperatures, weighted blankets for comfort

• Maintained core bedtimes within 1-2 hours of school year patterns

Screen time: Reach for intention and balance
Rather than applying universal time limits, focus on understanding how different types of screen time affect your individual child. Some children use certain technologies to regulate their nervous systems, while others become dysregulated quickly.